I guess I'm not much of a writer, or a typer... but I need to try. I'm so unemotional to the point where I need to try to get inside my own head when I am trying to think of the worst thing that had happened to me. To be honest, I don't have a sob story and I haven't experience any kind of tragedy or loss. I'm not as close to my relatives, I'm not confident in myself, and I have thought several times about how I could "fix" myself. I still do. No one is perfect but where I've grown up in, you have to be closest to perfect. I could find at least half the people that I know that have EVERYTHING that I want. The brains, the looks, and even personality-wise they're amazing! That's what separates our society. We look at all the things that the media has given us and that is how we match people up. The hot guys with the hot girls, the nerds with nerds, the MaCS with MaCS. Why can't we get the same appreciation for our hard work?? All we get is prejudice and every time we say "Oh I got over 90," it's basically saying oh you should do better, work harder. perfection is what we aim for. So basically, academically I'm fucking screwed. Now lets look at my "natural beauty." Well, being Asian says it all. I'm never going to be a gorgeous girl in the eyes of white guys. I'm pretty sure the guys have a check list : 1. blonde or brunette 2. amazing eyes 3. a shit load a makeup 4. popularity. These are the things that guys look for in a girl. Seriously, who takes a nice, kind nerd over the bitchiest but most popular girl?? Everyone says guys go for nice girls right? WRONG. guys go for slutty, popular, skinny, beautiful girls. Scratch that, they don't even have to be that pretty. Your ass hanging out of your pants is already beautiful enough. Along with natural beauty you gotta have boobs and an ass. Your boobs have to be minimum a B and C and D are better but DD is way too big to the point that it's gross. Your ass has to be round and circular and big but not fatty so that guys can grab at it whenever possible. Your stomach has to be flat and possibly even abs. You cannot be taller than the guy and you cannot be fatter than the guy. You have to weigh less and you have to be of the same/similar race. So how many anorexic girls are there? And why do they choose not to eat? Hmm ... let's give it some deep thought. You see that paragraphed essay up there? Ya, that's why you fucktards. Who do you expect girls to be? We are as lazy as you. Why can you have a belly but we can't? Why do we have to try SOO hard from kindergarden to be your friend? Lastly, there's personality. The only factor that is considered useful when choosing a person that you like, in my opinion. A person's personality is the key to having a good time. If your personalities go amazing together, you will genuinely have fun. If not, you could have the most awkward relationship ever. This, I really don't have anything to say. If your a bitch, no one's going to like you. If you're super nice, everyone will. This part I can work on but I have to say that I have a bitchy part in me. If I don't have brains or looks or personality, what am I? I'm a bitchy, ugly, stupid person? no. you're not. This is the part that confuses everyone. If you are not perfect in any of those three qualities, what are you? I can answer that part, You're PERFECT. Regardless of the shit that people put up, you are perfect. Don't forget it and don't let others determine who you are. Right now, all these selfless judgemental bitches that we call boyfriends are nothing to us in the future. Even in university, you are going to find a guy that's way better, that appreciates you. I don't even know how I got into this topic but it's my first. I'm not a good writer so I will have many mistakes. This is honestly, not for anyone. Just myself. So let the shitty writing go through! It's 11: 59 and I am leaving for the day. Will write again soon!
-Hannah
